The last seven days have flown by, sorry it’s been quiet on the site, but thanks to all of you who’ve been leaving such great comments lately. I feel like the discussions on post have picked up dramatically since swapping out Blogger’s default comments with Disqus‘, anything that helps this site be more interactive always makes me smile.

I’ve been keeping busy with some website stuff to go along with a big announcement Amanda and I plan on making soon regarding the actual film. Don’t worry, it’s good news, not bad news, I wouldn’t tease you like that with bad news, that would just be mean. We still have a few weeks though, we’d like to finish logging all the footage first, don’t want to get too far ahead of ourselves.

I’ve been feeling sorta-kinda overwhelmed lately, I think sometimes I have trouble putting things in the right order so they are more approachable – more baby-step’ish. With only Amanda and I doing the majority of the work, it’s hard to keep all the aspects of the project moving at a decent pace. Sometimes we get caught up on one thing and let others linger. I knew that importing the last tape from the film would be a big step, and I knew it would bring on all kinds of pressures with it. Pressures to finish logging as soon as possible, pressures to begin editing the film, pressures to get a lot more on paper regarding the narrative.

My typewriter right now is surrounded by stacks of notes and half-finished thoughts written on everything from colored construction paper to taco-bell napkins. Plus there’s the pressure of putting out another episode before we really go anywhere with the film, it’s been three months since episode 8, and people are starting to ask questions. Plus I have responsibilities outside of Pedal.

I guess I’m not saying all this because I need babying, I just need to write it out, and acknowledge that we have a sizable hill ahead of us, and that I need to focus. It’s been hard scheduling meetings with Amanda lately, my schedule has been a bit all over the place, I’m sure I’ll feel better once the two of us sit down and make sense of what’s been keeping me up at night.

Until that happens, I just need to look down at my feet… like Bob says, “baby steps, baby steps”. If I look up at the big picture, I’ll realize I’ve bitten off far more than I could chew a long, long time ago. To be honest, this is my favorite part of filmmaking: the anxiety, the doubt, the nagging voice in your head that says “you’re gonna fuck this whole thing up”… this comes and goes in waves that last weeks, and each time it subsides, I feel clearer and that much closer to the goal. Deep breaths.